A Beautiful Riot

i never write in here anymore but, here's an update

i dont have a job, still. except i work at metropolis occasionally when dan needs me.
steve and i broke up. the whole long distance thing wasnt working at all.
russ and i kind of have a 'thing' going on haha 
i like him alottt. he's cute.
im with him prettttyyy much everyday, and he and i gross andrew out alot haha
its amusing.
russ and i are going to see streetlight manifesto, against all authority and tip the van at the webster tomorrow night. that should be funnn.

all in all. my summer has been pretty good.
and im excited to go back to school and be a SENIORR aw yeah

thats all

and had a very deep conversation with russ and andrew about the creation of the universe, time, matter and the future. i like conversations like that, no one ever has deep meaningful conversations anymore so it was nice.
i've been hanging out with russ alot lately, like pretty much every day. except today andrew, jess, sonnie and i went to lake compounce and met up with jess's friend Jordan who was amazing and really nice. and it was such a good day, we were there for like 6 hours and went on every ride. it was great.
then on the way home, i started getting really depressed. like, bad. and now i just feel really shitty and just realize how much life just blows right now. i have no job, only $100 left in my bank, if i dont get a job soon my car is getting sold, my boyfriend lives hundreds of miles away and ive only talked to him 3 times this week, i only see him once a month and its driving me crazy. i miss him so much that i think im like, dying.

long distance relationships suckkkkk. but it'll be worth the pain eventually.
i miss him so muchhh :(
ahh

tomorrow i'm working metropolis from 2 till who knows while dan and jess are out of town. come visit.

so i got a monroe piercing and i absolutly love it!
i did it myself last night and it looks ALOT better than i thought it would. i love it alottt
my parents havent seen it yet but im really hoping i can convicne them to let me keep it, i just bought a real stud for it today since i only have an earring in it now. and the stud is smaller and less noticeable so hopefully since its not like gaudy or overthe top they wont mind to much

i like it alottttt.
i like steve alottttt :]
and my mom likes steve! she thinks he's cute and she doesnt care that hes 20 and thinks he and i are cuteee. i like it when my mom is cool about things.
im so freaking happy with everything right now

so love is complicated.
in the past 3 weeks i've fallen in and out of love.
or what i'd call love.
emily freaked out on me and told me that im ridiculous for saying i love steve when i've never met him
and i'm sure other people think the same way, but no one sees things the way i do
no one else is in my place. i think its perfectly possible to fall for someone youve never met
how do you think all that online dating got started
and people fall in love online/on thep hone all the time. my sister's best friend met her husband on that eHarmony site and they're perfect for eachother
why cant steve and i be the same way?
granted we met on myspace and not on eHarmony but i still have th right to care about him
and i do. alot. and i'm genuinly considering going to College in PA so i can be with him
i'd love to be with him because i do love him. i've known him for over 2 years and he's been my best friend for jsut as long
He treats me like im amazing and he talks to me like no one has before. he's so cute and he likes to be corny like i do :] and thats really important to me because i like to be corny with people i like because im ridiculous. He's hot, like really good looking and he actually cares about me.
i think falling inlove online and on the phone like this and having never met is the best way to fall in love. because then you know that they're actually interested in you and not just trying to get some ass.  and the fact that we love each other so much without even having a physical relationship yet says alot too
someone stop me if i talk about him too much
but i cant help it, he makes me feel so excited and alive and happy. i haven't smiled this much in almost 2 years and he can make me laugh like no other.
it just seems so right, you know? like, i dont even know how to explain it because its too hard to comprehend. he just amazes me and i dont think ive ever felt like this before.
he's coming to see me sometime soon and im so ecstatic for that, like im about to burst with excitement. i cant stop thinking about him and about whats gonna happen when we're together.

i want this to last a long time. ♥



A Beautiful Riot: : you're cute when you're belligerent
SergantCircus: And you're beautiful when you Breathe <3
A Beautiful Riot: :-)

so im pretty much in love with steve. he's the CUTEST boy EVER and he's such a sweetheart<3<3
tom is being a dick and like rubbing Dani in my face and telling me how she slept over his house andthey did whatever and im like... wtf i dont want to know this. i havent done anything with anyone sicne we've been broken up. well he can suck a fat one because steve is coming here in two weeks and im SO FUCKING EXCITED he makes me happier than tom ever did. <3<3<3<3<3
steve is amazing. end of story. <3

Summary:
Tom called me a whore because i'm friends with steve from PA
Tom thinks im going to go off and be a skank
Tom deserves nothing. rot in hell.

its none of his business who i'm friends with. he's the one that dumpedme so fuck him.
i can be friends with steve all i want. steve has been one of my best friends for 2 years. i met him before i knew who tom was.
so, needless to say i'm enraged.
and i wish steve was here.
steve has been the only thing to make me happy since tom dumped me.
tom's made me totally miserablleee

Patty's Horoscope:

You may be concerned with something that you have kept to yourself and are now trying to determine the best time to share it with someone else. You want to be alone so you can work out your dilemma, but responsibilities prevent you from retreating. Instead of getting angry about your situation, try to remain flexible, for you'll have time for your inner work soon enough.

school was okay

then after school tom saw me smoking

wouldnt talk to me

got to work and realized i left my clothes home

went to get them and dropped my shirt in a puddle

got a new one, tom shows up a work and tells me never to ask him to trust me again

leaves and then breaks up with me via text message

i hate my life

Monday, March 5, 2007

Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)

Your emotional landscape changes abruptly as the Sun joins erratic Uranus in your sign. This can mark the start of something new as cracks suddenly appear in the brittle shell that has kept you safe. It's time for you to emerge, so don't waste energy trying to repair the breach. Instead, think of the life ahead for the baby chick once it has broken free from the egg.

The good thing about today is that my parents didn't want me to drive to school and were pissed that THS didnt close.
The bad news is i was supposed to take 2 history quizes and stay after school for a chemistry test.
hopefully gamari and gregori will understand.
i dont know about gamari because he can be kind of insensitive.

more good news. my birthday is in 2 days. this weekend, Kelsey Tori and I are trying to plan something to do because they're birthday is right after mine on March 7. I'm also supposed to go with my dad to look at stereos for my car sometime this week.

i slept in till noon today. i have to straighten my hair and go to the bank!